In need of a mad-cap fantasy-not-fantasy-but-definitely-fantasy-novel? This is it. Follow insufferable Elliott in his insufferable quest to bring peace to insufferable warriors of fairyland. Oh, and talk to at least one mermaid (preferably plural), woo an Elf (at the loser's expense), and navigate the Borderland School (preferably without physical exertion). Perfect for most ages (sorry middle schoolers), all grumpsters, and every know-it-all. Losers can come too.